Teaching someone

At our 'ahem' advanced ages, would you bothering to attempt to teach someone if they sucked in bed, grit your teeth and bare it, or cut your losses and run?

if they lacked "technical " skills, but went at it with enthusiasm and joy.. yeh sure I would teach... If they lay down like a corpse..... nah

I tend to agree with the comment posted above by Viking. If I dove into bed with someone I was interested in pursuing a relationship with and she had absolutely no idea what she was doing, I wouldn't just write the relationship off. Perhaps they've never had a partner who was into anything outside of the norm, and never had the chance to explore other sexual acts. Put me in bed with someone on the other hand who thinks sex should only be performed in the missionary position, with the lights out, whilst lying like a block of concrete beneath you and I wouldn't bother going back for round 2. Christ, I most likely wouldn't be able to get hard enough to finish round 1.

Anyone can learn anything, if they have a good teacher.

I must be getting old, because these days if I'm not interested in getting to know them, I'm not interested in getting into their pants. So if she's causing me to yawn my head off in bed yet I really like her as a person and want to take the relationship further, then I'm going to bust my butt trying to inject some raunch into the bedroom. If the bedroom action is causing me to jerk off in the bathroom a couple of months later though, I'd probably reassess the situation.

Yes, anyone is teachable, but sex is a very personal thing and some people just don't feel comfortable exploring new things. I don't care if she can't assume each and every position in the karma sutra, as long as shes confident enough to let go and actually enjoy herself. Find someone who has the confidence to do that, and 9 times out of 10 the rest will just come naturally.

I think women have the easier road to travel here. If a woman isn't shit hot in the bedroom the guy will often see her in a virginal light and see it as a challenge to educate her. If a guy is pathetic in the bedroom olympics his partner, her friends, his mates, his work colleagues, half the neighbourhood and the world at large will classify him as a loser not capable of getting a woman off. Know which gender I'd rather be.

There's a big difference between being with someone that is inexperienced and being with someone that just isn't comfortable sexually. Anyone can learn or improve if they have an open mind and enjoy sex. Those who are either conditioned to think anything other than missionary is wrong, or that sex is simply for reproductive purposes or just can't let their guard drop in order to enjoy the event, can't be helped and no amount of time nor patience is going to change it.

Don't you think everyone does a mutual bit of teaching in a new relationship?

I think you've got it absolutely right Sim. You may come from a relationship where the bedroom antics were out of this world, only to find that the exact same position or pressure or touch has the entirely opposite effect when attempted with someone new. Doesn't mean that either one of you is hopeless in bed, simply that its a new partnership and you haven't as yet had the time to explore every little inch of them to learn what works for you as a couple.

It's a learning/teaching curve for the both of you, and I'd never write someone off simply because the initial forays in the bedroom weren't up to the standard I was expecting.

Agree with what you and Sim are saying Benj, but how long do you give? How much time do you invest? Women in the age group I'm attracted to well quite frankly if they haven't got their shit together already then there's not much hope of them pulling a miracle out of their hat now. I'd give it a go but wouldn't be confident of success.